and like water,
I always find my way
I | High school graduation in small town Germany - what now?
Same town, same school, and a girl with a big dream. A dream that snuck up on me throughout the years, not sure where it came from, but I grew into it the older I got. One year in Australia - or maybe even two? That’s where a new chapter of my life would start, or so I thought.
But circumstances changed, graduating high school during a pandemic, borders closing off, dreams shattering. Everything I had been looking forward to over the past years got taken away from me in a heartbeat, and I was left with - what now? I guess I could go to university? But to study what? What interests me? I had no idea, looked through forums, scrolled through every possible study and ended up with tourism management being the sole thing that sparked something in me.
So - within two months - I applied, got accepted, rented a room in a small apartment on campus and moved across the country. Starting all over. For the very first time. New town, new university and a girl with a big dream. Because that dream didn’t just disappear.
‘When I’m done with these studies’ I told myself, One year in Australia - or maybe even two? And so I did what everyone else seemed to do, day-to-day life on campus, neglecting any personal life during exam phase, going on trips with friends in between semesters.
II | New invitation for “Internship in Multicultural Mauritius in the Indian Ocean”
Fourth semester was sneaking up on me - my first practical semester. Suddenly all these new opportunities opened up. I could do this internship abroad! But where should I go? Should I search for something in Europe, or maybe even global? I quickly realized, Europe just wasn’t gonna cut it for me, I wanted to go far, farther than I’d ever gone. And there it was - New invitation for "Internship in Multicultural Mauritius in the Indian Ocean". Mauritius? Never heard of that.. but it sounds far away! So I did what everyone in my situation would do - I googled it. And when I tell you - I saw the pictures and immediately knew - I HAVE to do this. At first, I didn’t want to admit it to myself.. but deep down I knew, this was gonna be my way, this was what I needed to do.
So - within six months - I applied, got accepted, rented a room in a small apartment at the beach and moved across continents. Starting all over. For the second time. New country, new workplace and a girl living a new dream. A dream that she didn’t know she had, but embraced with every bit of her soul.
Mauritius changed me. Emilie, the small-town girl from the mountains of Germany, who only ever knew one way of life, turned into Em, the sun-kissed girl living barefoot on a tropical island in the middle of the Indian Ocean, falling in love with this new lifestyle more and more every single day.
III | The difficulty of putting your shoes back on
What was supposed to be a four month internship, turned into a transformative half a year, a lot of firsts, incredible friendships and leaving my comfort zone over and over and over again. Once my internship ended I started to look beyond, did my first ever ‘real solo trip’ to Réunion Island, fell in love with being so free and independent that I went to Rodrigues just after, to make the most of my time in this beautiful corner of the world that had so quickly grown so close to my heart.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay forever, I had to say goodbye and return to Germany to continue my studies - because even though it felt like I had started a new life and had become a new person, after all it had been intended as part of my studies, that I knew eventually I had to return to and finish what I’d started back home. But suddenly this simple word, that for the past 21 years had only ever meant one thing, wasn’t defined this easily anymore. Home became a feeling, one that I felt back in Germany with my family, but now all of the sudden also felt on this island - that only less than a year ago, I didn’t even know existed.
Coming back after such an experience shook me, in every imaginable way. Suddenly this lifestyle, where I felt more like myself than I had ever known possible, where I bloomed in so many ways, was behind me, I had returned to the life that had been the only thing I knew, my normal - but now felt like a world I no longer fit into. During this time, returning to my studies, trying to pick up where I left off, I struggled a lot mentally and finally made the big decision to give this new life a chance, and move back to Mauritius. I quit my studies in Germany and started online university - fast forward: I did not find the time, money or will to go through with it, because it wasn’t my way (which I only realized years later), I was never meant for life as society wanted me to live it, there was another way out there waiting for me.
IV | Returning with a new dream
So - within three months - I took the job I was offered in Mauritius, rented the same room at the beach and moved back to my island home. Picking up where I left off. Same country, same workplace and a girl living her dream. A dream that this time, I knew all about, and couldn’t wait to embrace again.
- At the same time, even though it seemed like I was just picking up where I left off, it was my third time starting all over. I had to figure out how to actually settle down instead of having an expiry date set to my newly beloved island life. I had to figure out my visa situation, a more permanent place to live, how to make friends that were aspiring the same lifestyle in Mauritius as I was. It was very challenging, but I also grew beyond myself, especially professionally.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to last very long. I came to a point where I burned myself out working two jobs, one of them being incredibly rewarding but at the same time very demanding and marked by a huge amount of responsibility. At all times I was either at the office, working from home or accompanying clients while working on different projects at the same time. It was simply too much, I wasn’t able to appreciate where I was living anymore and was caught in a cycle of having to be somewhere at all times.
Universe to my rescue - having to leave the country unexpectedly due to visa issues and being stranded in Réunion Island. Basically removing me from the life that I had tried so hard to make work, to live the dream I had when returning to Mauritius. So there I was - me and my carry-on, my life across on another island, my work, my car, my belongings, my home - all waiting for me to return, but immigration making it impossible. My only way was leading forward, no way of returning. I knew I couldn’t stay in Réunion, it was too expensive, I only spoke broken French and there was nothing holding me there. I ended up staying in a hostel in the mountains, met people that planted new ideas and imprinted on me in the best ways possible, opening up new horizons and giving me the chance to look at all that happened in a positive way - forming the idea of going to volunteer in Morocco - how you’re asking? Well, it was October, Winter started sneaking up to Germany and I generally just wasn’t ready to return, I wasn’t ready to admit my dream didn’t end up working out and just having to return back to where I started.
V | New horizons
So - within two weeks - I applied, got accepted to volunteer at a coworking/coliving space, gathered my things and thoughts and moved across the continent. Starting all over. Again. For the fourth time. New country, new opportunity and a girl lost in her dreams. I didn’t know of what to dream anymore. Where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, I lost track of who I wanted to be.
Once again, the butterfly effect was real. If I hadn’t had to leave Mauritius (or would’ve been able to go to Australia in the first place), I wouldn’t have gone to Morocco. And let me tell you, I would be a totally different person today. Morocco healed me in many ways I didn’t know I needed healing. I met people who not only inspired me by showing me all the different ways there are in which you can live your life. They also showed me how support and community can go a very long way and how important it is to see yourself as the amazing being that you are. All of us. No matter how different we all are.
I spent a month there, a month with my family for Christmas and a month in Mauritius to properly say goodbye to the island and this chapter of my life. While in Mauritius, I sat down to make a vision board for the new year. A new year. Endless opportunities. I didnt have any direction whatsoever, no idea what to even put onto this board. So I thought about all the things that interested me, the lifestyle I craved, the values I wanted to protect and all the dreams I hadn’t ever dared to say out loud. No specifics, just a glimpse of the life I wanted to build for myself - because I knew, there was no way I could just go back to where I started, back to a life in Germany.
VI | The one where things fell into place
So - within five weeks - I researched, organized a volunteering opportunity, booked a one-way flight to Sri Lanka, and set off on a trip I had no idea where it would lead. Starting all over. As so many times before. Except this time I wasn’t trying to fit in anywhere, neither did I have an expiry date set. Freedom. Electrifying, but also terrifying. New continent, new lifestyle and a girl with her backpack full of possibilities.
And who would’ve thought - if you’re open to life it will lead you exactly where you are supposed to be, experiencing all the faces of life (good and bad, or rather challenging) that will shape you into who you are supposed to be. I ended up living in and traveling Sri Lanka for three months, backpacking through Malaysia for four weeks, getting a glimpse into local life of Lombok and setting off on a 3 month and 4,800 nautical mile long journey sailing across the Indian Ocean - without having stepped foot on a sailboat ever before. It’s safe to say, I’ll never be the same again.
During all these travels there was one main concern popping up in my head every now and again - what do I do when my savings run out? Never once did I have the thought the solution could be to pick up what once was my biggest dream, One year in Australia - or maybe even two? Until one day a stranger turned friend asked me “Why don’t you just go to Australia?” And that was it! After this incredible sailing adventure, that opened up a whole new exciting world for me, I’d go to Australia to fund my travels!
VII | One year in Australia - or maybe even two?
So - within four weeks - I surprised my family at home, spent quality time with my loved ones, booked a flight and moved across continents. Starting all over. Yet another time. New country, new people and a girl with a dream. This time - knowing I want to build myself a life in this country. A life full of sun, ocean and happiness.
Unfortunately, you never know what you get in life. I wasn’t prepared for what it would feel like to make this final dream of mine reality, I didn’t know I had to be. It didn’t kick in right away, but at some point I realized I had never dreamed beyond the idea of going to Australia. Where was my life headed? What would I do from here on? Suddenly I didn’t have a direction anymore, no idea where I was meant to be, or even what to do now that I made it here. I hadn’t thought about what I wanted my life here to look like, no specifics at least. But I made it work. I managed to navigate through the tough times and heartbreak, and tried my best to not let myself go when routine took over. And it’s not like I didn’t enjoy my time in Australia, especially looking back, life was great and Australia grew closer to my heart than I thought it did. There’s just something about the people, the nature and the lifestyle that captivated me and I can’t wait to go back one day, with a clear mind and a strong mindset, ready to embrace what Australia stands for.
One year in Australia passed, I caught up with family and friends back home, and started gathering ideas on where to go next - or rather choosing which one of all those amazing experiences that are still floating around my head to pursue first. Even though I didn’t have specific plans, I knew one thing. It is time to explore the Americas.
VIII | How sailing flipped my world upside down
So - within four weeks - I booked a flight, packed my carry-on backpack, got in contact with someone looking for crew on his sailboat and set off across the big pond, for my next big adventure. At this point, I had accepted that I didn’t know where life was going to take me.
Within the next six months, I ended up sailing over 4,000 nautical miles on four different boats, all the way from Annapolis, Maryland down to the Eastern Caribbean and back through the Virgins up to The Bahamas. It’s been an incredible time. I was able to grow my sailing experience incredibly, was welcomed with open arms into the sailing community by amazing people, and fell in love with liveaboard life more than I could’ve ever imagined. There were many challenges, like having to cross the Gulf Stream upwind with a compromised engine under extreme conditions, almost being pushed onto the rocky lee shore of Saint Vincent on an engineless boat and much more. The point is, it wasn’t always easy, but it was always worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing.
If there is one thing I took with me when leaving the Caribbean Sea after this half a year, it is that I am a sailor at heart, and that I want to point my life in the direction of being at sea full-time. But first, it is time to fulfill a childhood dream of mine - becoming a wrangler on a ranch in the mountains. Say hello to my alter ego - I’m moving to Canada! (Don’t worry, there are big plans for life at sea waiting just around the corner.)
Coming soon…
“One life. Just one. Why aren’t we running like we are on fire, towards everything we dream of?”